CDC zombie apocalypse survival guide
Image courtesy of the CDC Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse

The Government’s Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

When you say the words “zombie apocalypse”, you have some that will laugh and wave you off as insane, and then you have others that can tell you everything on how to be prepared. Recently the Center for Disease Control (C.D.C.) released information on how to deal with an actual zombie apocalypse or as I affectionately refer to it – the government’s zombie apocalypse survival guide. Was this information some sort of sick joke? Would you survive the zombie apocalypse with this information? Maybe they were having us on; laughing at us at our own expense. Or, just maybe, they were telling us vital information about something they’ve known about, as well as our government’s involvement, for many, many years, but have been covering up this whole time. The information is there in plain sight for anyone to read; like they want you to see it without actually saying they want you to see it.

The blog page for the C.D.C. tells about possible ways the zombie infection is spread, where the term “zombie” originated, movies about zombies, ways to be prepared for a zombie emergency, and even fictional term papers about zombies, which were written by college students. This would lead one to believe that the whole thing is just for a laugh, which raises this question: What if it’s NOT all just for a laugh? Could they be telling us that an impending zombie apocalypse is looming on the horizon of our existence?

As well as the a fore mentioned topics, the C.D.C. site also offers shirts to mark yourself as a “zombie task force member” , and a “zombie apocalypse training course” to help train you to ward off the zombie infestation of the near future. Is this simply a ploy to make money off of gullible people? “Get your zombie stickers here… only $4.99” Chances are that it isn’t.

Imagine this scenario: Bob signs his family up for the training course. He takes is wife, Agnes, and their three children, Billy, Suzy, and Shecky to the seminar, where he spends an exuberant amount of money on their shirts, emergency supplies, and the course itself. Little does Bob know that when this training exercise ends, he will have to use the information he and his family learned to keep them alive for the foreseeable future. They thought it was all just for fun, but when the zombie flu outbreak (Necrophiliosis Unilateralis) took hold of the civilized world just one week after they took the course, Bob was glad he had signed his family up for the lessons. Except for poor Shecky, as he was always a bit of daydreamer when it came to learning….

In all seriousness though, this could be a way for someone sitting in lofty places to warn the public, without actually warning the public. Not everyone involved in a zombie conspiracy/cover-up is a bad person. Just maybe he or she had a compassionate moment for humanity, and got the idea to release information on how to survive during a zombie apocalypse and the training as a joke, but not really as a joke. A conspiracy within a conspiracy…

When you say the words “zombie apocalypse”, you have some that will laugh and wave you off as insane, and then you have others that can tell you everything on how to be prepared. Recently the Center for Disease Control (C.D.C.) released information on how to deal with an actual zombie apocalypse or as I affectionately refer to it - the government's zombie apocalypse survival guide. Was this information some sort of sick joke? Would you survive the zombie apocalypse with this information? Maybe they were having us on; laughing at us at our own expense. Or, just maybe, they…

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