Journal Entry – May 21st
I have no idea what the hell’s going on, but I believe I may be cursed with the worst luck ever. I never get to have my say before things get out of hand and sideways; keeping me from having a real conversation with Shelly. It really sucks too, because this is something I need to get off my chest, yet here we are again; another day gone by and still no progress on figuring out what’s going on with her. I almost feel like giving up! I know that’s not like me but I just don’t know where to begin. What’s worse, the more time that passes, the more awkward this is becoming.
Here’s the latest – after classes yesterday I stopped by to grab a snack and saw a few friends who I’ve not spoken to in ages. I thought it would be fun to pop over for a quick hello. After a few minutes, I decided it was time to get a move on since I was already late to meet Shelly by that old oak tree she likes so much. However, my friend Tim wanted us to go hang out at Benny’s. I told him I couldn’t because I had to catch up with my girlfriend. Before I could explain, he started teasing me about her “keeping me on a short leash”, and making me “sleep in the doghouse”. I politely (as I possibly could) excused myself from the situation. Tim reminded me why I had stopped hanging out with those guys in the first place.
When I got to the tree and saw Shelly sitting there, with her beautiful, sexy smile, all I wanted was some time with her…alone. No such luck because, low and behold, Tim and the guys walked right up behind me and started in on another round of teasing, just thoroughly pissing me off. I could tell Shelly was confused by the whole scene and talked me into leaving which really isn’t like her. She tends to stand her ground so this was a little unusual. She wanted to go grab a booth at Benny’s, but I knew Tim and the guys were also heading there. So, instead, we just walked to her house and sat on the back porch.
It was a pleasant change in scenery, but I still wasn’t able to find the right words to start a conversation about my concern something was wrong. I was feeling a little nauseous from the adrenaline earlier and I could tell Shelly was still anxious about the whole thing. I tried to apologize for those jerks but Shelly didn’t seem interested in discussing it and told me it was no big deal. Thankfully, with perfect timing, Shelly’s mom opened the back door and brought us glasses of the sourest lemonade known to man. I thought I’d caught epilepsy trying to shake off the bite. It even brought tears to my eyes which made Shelly laugh and that made everything better, it always does.
We had a good laugh at the lemonade and our silly puckered faces. After a quick kiss good bye, I went home for dinner. Maybe tomorrow will be the day, I just need to relax and not worry about the whole thing so much. I do often wonder if this thing, whatever it is, bothers Shelly as much as it has me.