The Case of The Florida Fanger

Usually, a news story involving a vampire would rekindle the debate about whether these bloodsucking cryptids were ever real. However, in the case of the Florida Fanger, some vampire stories are so far out there that no one wants to touch them (literally and figuratively).

At one point, you’ve most likely experienced a stalker or at least an overly aggressive suitor. Odds are you went to whatever extent was necessary to get your point across that you’re not interested and that you want to be left alone.

Imagine, instead, what your reaction would be if someone or something a little different was harassing you; say a vampire. Safe bet you’d attempt to do everything humanly possible to escape your undead stalker, but would you invent an anti-vampire dance? Well, for one 44-year-old Florida resident, that’s precisely what he did, and it prompted local law enforcement to get involved.

According to media reports, the man in question drove to the house of a Lee County Sheriff and proceeded to climb on top of the homeowner’s police cruiser. From there, the anti-vampire dance began as “Rich Girl” by Hall & Oats blared from the dancer’s car radio. Partly into “Goodbye Stranger” from Supertramp the not-so-tiny dancer broke the cruiser’s windshield wiper and decided to take it up a notch by running across the street and grabbing a U.S. flag.

When questioned by the police who responded to the bizarre disturbance, the man told officers that “a woman with fangs” had attempted to attack him. After being “threatened” by the alleged female vampire, the man reportedly became convinced that a “human sacrifice was about to occur involving vampires.” He chose to dance on the cruiser as a means to protect himself from the vampire and to also capture the attention of law enforcement. In fact, the 44-year-old went on to state that he jumped on the cruiser with the intention of getting “the Sheriff of Nottingham to help him stop the slaughter of small children.”

A surveillance camera caught the entire dance on film, and the police department recently released the footage. Notably, the dance occurred during the day calling into question whether he did encounter a vampire under the Florida sun. Maybe he just ran into a creature of the night with sunscreen similar to the bloodsuckers in “Daybreakers.”

Florida is special for many reasons and one just so happens to be a long history of vampire related activity. For example, the infamous Vampire Cult Murders took place in Florida in 1996. The leader of this cult, Rod Ferrell, told authorities that his real name is “Vesago” and he’d been trippin’ the night fantastic as a vampire for five hundred years.

Fortunately, the cult members were caught, prosecuted and sentenced to serve time in prison. Ironically, Ferrell was sentenced to 2,000 years, so perhaps the judge had a sense of humor and took his supernatural longevity into consideration.

Usually, a news story involving a vampire would rekindle the debate about whether these bloodsucking cryptids were ever real. However, in the case of the Florida Fanger, some vampire stories are so far out there that no one wants to touch them (literally and figuratively). At one point, you've most likely experienced a stalker or at least an overly aggressive suitor. Odds are you went to whatever extent was necessary to get your point across that you're not interested and that you want to be left alone. Imagine, instead, what your reaction would be if someone or something a little…

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