Vampire riding the Glasgow subway, image courtesy of https://www.flickr.com/photos/angusmcdiarmid/5130222686/in/photostream/
Vampire riding the Glasgow subway, image courtesy of https://www.flickr.com/photos/angusmcdiarmid/5130222686/in/photostream/

Top 10 Places You Might Find A Vampire

Vampires come in all shapes and sizes, colors and creeds. That being said, what makes mortals think the only places they can be found is sleeping in coffins? Although they sometimes do sleep in coffins, this isn’t their whole day… er… I mean night. They can be found in a vast number of places and anywhere people normally congregate. Below is a general list where these blood sucking, creatures of the night might be located (other than their coffins, but we covered that). This list of placed you might find a vampire is in no particular order, so it shouldn’t be considered as a top ten ranking list. Shall we begin?

    1. Night Clubs – What better place to find victims, or recruits for that matter, than a night club? This is where vampires thrive; mingling with humans to perhaps persuade a little snack. Enthralling those they find worthy enough, and eventually turning them into fellow blood suckers. Most night clubs are dark, and we all know how most vampires love the dark. (Apart from those rare, day-walking vampires.) Finally, club owners need strong bouncers, and what better legitimate job for a vampire than a night club’s bouncer? Have you ever challenged a bouncer? They can be quite persuasive without even lifting a finger. See my point?
    2. Carnivals – Some of you may be thinking “Really? Carnivals?” Yes, I said carnivals. You never really know who or what is lurking underneath that clown make-up. There are a plethora of people just walking about, looking at the lights and attractions, and not really paying attention to who is actually running the show. Carnies are basically modern day gypsies, and with modern day gypsies come old world curses. And let me tell you, vampirism is as old world as they come. Then, there’s the act of controlling dangerous, wild animals. Vampires are known for their mind control abilities. That being said, there is a secret world that we don’t see after the show ends and the lights go down. So, when the crowds are gone, don’t be the one poking around after hours. That is, of course, unless you’re looking to be lunch; or you’re planning on becoming a member of the undead.
    3. Funeral Homes – Ok, there are coffins in funeral homes, but I’m not talking about sleeping here. (Although, that would seem like a perk.) I’m talking about the morticians working in and conducting the services of the funeral homes. What a better place to hide in plain sight that doing work that most deem too creepy to imagine? I for one have never met a cheerful funeral director. It screams “vampire”. Ok, moving on…
    4. Porn Shops – Some of you may really be getting the wrong idea of where I’m going with this, so from the start: No, it’s not about sex. Most patrons of porn shops desperately desire to remain completely anonymous. This is the same thing all vampires desire. Well, that and large amounts of human blood. For those people that do frequent these places that are a little more daring, you know, the ones that use the bulletin boards for “clandestine opportunities”, they may just end up being served as a dessert a la cart to a hungry night creature.
    5. Subways – No, not the popular fast food chain… Subways, being subterranean methods of travel, are shielded from the sun, and have tens of thousands of people passing through them daily. This makes an exquisite hunting ground for any vampire. In fact, a smart vampire would never leave the subway, because he or she would never have to.
    6. Theaters -To me, this seems like a no brainer, as vampires have the ability to mesmerize and captivate an audience like no mortal ever could. Just think: You go out to catch the show at your local playhouse, and the show wasn’t great in reality, however, you couldn’t stop watching… That’s because a vampire had everyone under her spell; making the horrible acting seem like it was the most awesome thing since Orange Julius. Just maybe one of those mesmerized audience members decided he just had to meet her after the show. Yeah… he was under a different type of spell, which led him unknowingly to his doom.
    7. Abandoned Shopping Malls – Abandoned shopping malls litter the suburban areas where the economy has taken a massive nose dive. These creepy, forgotten reliquaries are a perfect area for a vampire, or a whole coven of vampires, to congregate and do whatever it is they do when they aren’t out hunting for blood. This would also make a perfect place for them to take a little daytime nap, as there are plenty of interior rooms that are completely shielded for the daylight.
    8. Las Vegas – Have you ever heard the term, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” Well, now you know why. This is another place where a vampire could wander around in total anonymity; hunting without ever being suspected. With thousands of visitors daily, Las Vegas is a proverbial smorgasbord for these blood thirsty fiends.
    9. New Orleans – The land of voodoo should be a “voo-don’t” for people looking for a good time. The legends that surround New Orleans concerning voodoo rituals, as well as Mardi Gras, a festival where anything can and usually does happen, is just what the vampire doctor ordered. I think this was covered quite nicely in the movie/book Queen of the Damned. There is a thriving night life there, where any vampire would be more than happy; hunting, feeding, recruiting, and then disappearing back into obscurity.
    10. The Red Cross – I often thought the attendant at the Red Cross blood donation center was just being careful, but I’m not so sure that was the whole picture any more. They aren’t testing your blood for the safety of others. They are, however, testing your blood for the tastiness for themselves. A bag here, a bag there, and the lazy vampire is sated until tomorrow, when a whole new batch of donors arrives to willingly shed their blood. The scheme of all schemes; the perfect cover-up.
    11. Dating Sites – While you may need to weed through the liars to find the real deal, you can easily search for a vampire from the comfort of your own home. There are numerous online dating sites catering to members of the undead persuasion; some good and some just plain awful. We’ve put together a list of the top 10 vampire dating sites you can visit to try your luck.

So the next time you’re planning a vacation or a little outing for recreation, just remember that they’re watching you. They are always lurking closer than any of us could ever imagine; hunting us and sometimes recruiting us.

Vampires come in all shapes and sizes, colors and creeds. That being said, what makes mortals think the only places they can be found is sleeping in coffins? Although they sometimes do sleep in coffins, this isn’t their whole day… er… I mean night. They can be found in a vast number of places and anywhere people normally congregate. Below is a general list where these blood sucking, creatures of the night might be located (other than their coffins, but we covered that). This list of placed you might find a vampire is in no particular order, so it shouldn't be…

Review Overview

0%

User Rating: 4.35 ( 13 votes)

Check Also

zombies-ahead

Scientists Working To Reanimate Dead Brains

Arrogance aside, apparently a few scientists aren’t familiar with the possible world ending scenario associated …

One comment

  1. Rjw1122

    I do believe you forgot one or two.
    Washington DC. Those “people” creatures are dreaming up new ways to bleed us every week. And not just money.

    I have been to a hospital for test before, they want to take two to four tubes of blood to run test. All good.
    But for the past few years i have gone to a Washington controlled hospital. And every visit has cost me six (6) to eight (8) tubes of blood. That is a Veterans Hospital. And every time the lab tech seems to be eyeballing me as if i am a side of beef. (Are we being cataloged for the menu?)

Leave a Reply

Copyright ©2014-2016 MonstrumAthenaeum.org; All Rights Reserved. MonstrumAthenaeum is intended for Mature Audiences.