Werewolf Safety Message: Philippine Island Issues ‘Shoot on Sight’ for Werewolves

Anyone suffering from a chronic disease is more than entitled to enjoy some rest and relaxation, free from their burden. However, if you’re afflicted with the curse of the werewolf, it may be best to heed our werewolf safety message and avoid the Philippine Island of Sibale as a vacation spot altogether. You see, local police have issued a ‘shoot on sight’ order for any suspected werewolves or vampire dogs on the island.

Not sure how we missed this last year, but apparently another lycanthrope is ruining it for the rest of you by slaughtering large numbers of livestock, including valuable goats, during the full moon.

The terrified Sibale locals are taking the matter quite seriously. Authorities took steps to solve this supernatural problem by issuing a carte blanche death warrant against any man-beasts roaming the island.

The sign of a natural leader, the mayor set up a special team, led by the local vet, to investigate any corpses shot under the order. The team will also perform an autopsy on dead goats or other dead livestock to ‘determine whether they were killed by werewolves, dogs or vampires disguised as dogs’.

Makes you wonder which class one takes in veterinary school to brush up on werewolf anatomy.

Signs of werewolf attacks would include dead animals with strangulated necks, gaping wounds in the stomach and missing hearts and livers. Villagers report that the attacks always happen on the eve of the full moon between midnight and 2 am.

One farmer claims to have come face to face with the creature on his property. Lucky to be alive, the man described the beast as a giant black dog with bloodshot eyes and was, in his opinion, a vampire that had taken the form of a dog.

It’s worth noting that the Philippines has no shortage of names for shapeshifting, vampiric monsters. One of the most common is the Aswang, a vampire-like witch that can shapeshift into another form, including a dog.

Reports of aswang attacks around the country are commonplace. Most recently in May of this year a couple were attacked in Maguindanao.

Anyone suffering from a chronic disease is more than entitled to enjoy some rest and relaxation, free from their burden. However, if you're afflicted with the curse of the werewolf, it may be best to heed our werewolf safety message and avoid the Philippine Island of Sibale as a vacation spot altogether. You see, local police have issued a ‘shoot on sight’ order for any suspected werewolves or vampire dogs on the island. Not sure how we missed this last year, but apparently another lycanthrope is ruining it for the rest of you by slaughtering large numbers of livestock, including valuable…

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