Area 51 Declassified

Related Articles

Cotard’s Syndrome: Pathological Disorder Causes Patients to Believe They’re Zombies

July 19, 2016

Scientists Working To Reanimate Dead Brains

June 8, 2016

A Good Idea? Scientists Make Zombie Cells

March 1, 2016

For decades there has been mystery surrounding the goings on at Area 51. For most people it’s all about the Area 51 aliens and space men. The U.S. government has been more than happy to let people believe whatever it is they want to believe for many decades, as the military goes about performing experiments in top secret manner. They claim that there is no “space men”, yet the Area 51 location is so secure that even the wind has to have a special security clearance to blow there. What is it they’re hiding? If it’s not aliens, then what is it? Why isn’t Area 51 declassified after all this time?

Speculations run wild on this topic, so I’ll just throw this out there; it’s zombies. What better way to hide such an operation then to lead the masses into believing it’s something else? After all, that’s what a good Area 51 conspiracy is, but this is not theorizing 101. This is a distinct probability: Area 51 is home to a military experiment in which zombies are being created and destroyed for testing.

If you’re familiar with the flu vaccine creation process then you know our scientists are always working hard to generate the next strains of influenza at least one year ahead of time. Even though they do their best to predict the next mutated strain, there’s always a chance they’ll miss the next big mass extinction virus. In a similar way, it would make sense using this method to predict the next mutation of the zombie virus, Necrophiliosis Unilateralis, before it becomes uncontrollable.

Since the 1950’s, the U.S. government has denied the existence of Area 51. That is until recently, when an Area 51 map was released with the site clearly marked. They were lying to the public the whole time, yet now they say it does indeed exist, but there are no aliens there. Then why so top secret? If there wasn’t anything secret there then why wasn’t Area 51 declassified? The secrecy is because, if they let the public in on the real happenings there, it could be mass hysteria and panic on a global scale. After all, we’re talking about zombies here. However, I still feel we should be able to judge for ourselves the things we want to know, and the things we should know. Not the other way around.

The fact remains that for the uneducated masses this is a place where the government has any number of alien space craft locked away.  A place filled with underground laboratories where tests are performed on aliens to find their weaknesses. In reality, there are no space craft or alien war ships – just scores of undead corpses hungry for human flesh.

Whatever the case may be, most of the Area 51 facts are still shrouded in a fog of mystery, whether they admit its existence or not. Alien lore aside, which they have openly denied, the  experiments going on at that secret facility are more deeply disturbing than any of us could ever imagine. If anything ever went wrong there, the zombie apocalypse may very well start at Area 51.