Dear Sarah – May 8th

Dear Sarah,

Wow! Has it ever been a stressful week!  I was resolved to tell Brendan. I had it all planned out and everything.  I was going to…but then I didn’t.  I couldn’t.  It just wasn’t the right time.  He has been under a lot of stress lately, what with the big test he forgot study for.  I could taste the fear in his sweat when he kissed me under the oak tree where I like to study.   That’s why I decided not to go through with it…just yet.

Part of me thought it might be something else that was bothering him.  His eyes were kind of shifty when he walked up and I could hear that his pulse was beating faster than normal but it all evened out and everything seemed normal for the rest of the day.

Oh.  I don’t know.  Why do I get so worked up?  Ok. Fine, I admit it! I was afraid he might be seeing someone else.   Only he never smells like any other woman… except when he visits his aunt Rose; she always smothers him in insanely long hugs and leaves lipstick on his cheek.  She smells like menthol and moth balls mixed with some kind of wilted flower perfume.  But he knows I don’t like it so he usually brings an extra shirt to change into in the car.  I can still smell it on his hair and skin, but it’s not so bad. Anyway, it’s not another girl.  I would know.

It must be the test.  Or maybe not.  I just can’t seem to put it together.  If it were just a silly test then no biggie but was stressed all week.  And well… it almost seemed like he wanted to do or say something but never quite gets up the nerve…

OH GOD!  I just realized what this has to be about.  He wants to have sex!

I have been so worried about telling him I almost forgot he thinks we’re still a normal couple. Shit, I hope he’s not worried I’m not into guys. He knows about my ex and he’s cool with it. I just wish I could tell him everything but one freaking skeleton at a time.

The moon is still waning so if there was ever a good time it would be now.  He might not even notice when my eyes go all wolf during climax.  Oh hell, who am I kidding?  I am going to have to tell him before we go that far.  This brings me neatly around full circle to my problem; I haven’t told him and I need to tell him.

But shit!  I can’t dump this on him during testing and, ahem, other tensions.   What am I going to do? I guess I’ll just keep an eye out for the right moment.  Now I’m the one stressed…as usual.

Always thoughtful in your embrace, Shelly.